i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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