I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
