even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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