I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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