So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
