I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
