Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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