singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
