who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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