Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
