I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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