Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
A bitchslap is in order.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
