I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You are a genius and a whore.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize