This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
