If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i dont even know how to be here
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Randomize
