You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
