Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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