god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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