Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
