It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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