Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
