I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
