College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
