I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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