did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
