If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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