see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
