I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
