Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
everyone is single if you try hard enough
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
