she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
