Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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