I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
