he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
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