you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I just want nice things and good sex
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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