Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
