Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
do nipples grow back?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
