also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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