best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
