the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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