i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
