I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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