Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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