i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
