i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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