is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
