So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
