think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
