Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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