I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
