How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Even my vagina gasped.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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