you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
