Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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