when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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