she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
pop tarts are not kleenex
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
