i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
