You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
