Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
