I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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