you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
