Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
